Tea at Trianon: Why Introverted Children Don’t Need to Be ‘Fixed’

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Why Introverted Children Don’t Need to Be ‘Fixed’

From Introvert, Dear:

Things have changed since the nineties. As the world becomes more aware of introversion and neurodiversity more generally — the idea that human beings come in a wide range of neurobiological flavors, and have diverse internal experiences that reflect that fact — people have begun to speak up for introverted children. Parents need to know that their quiet, sensitive children don’t need to be “fixed,” and that extroversion is not a requirement for health, goodness, or normalcy. But I think it’s important that we dig a little deeper into the impulse so many adults seem to worry about regarding introverted children, and, consequently, how they pressure them to change. What is it about quiet children that makes their parents and teachers so uncomfortable? What is it that makes them so afraid?

[...]

When we expect our introverted children to perform happiness (or extroversion) for our sake, the natural order of things gets turned upside down. Instead, we need to observe them carefully to make sure they are thriving, and to expand our understanding of childhood happiness to include introverted expressions, like getting lost in a book or creative project. In other words, we need to recognize quiet happiness when we see it. (Read more.)