Tea at Trianon: 5 Things Adults Say That Negatively Impact an Introverted Child

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Sunday, August 6, 2023

5 Things Adults Say That Negatively Impact an Introverted Child

Brilliant. From Introvert, Dear:

These sentences won’t help introverted children. Instead, saying (or implying) such things will make them start to lose their self-confidence and blame themselves for being quiet and reserved. They will become even more quiet — or go against their introverted nature by “faking it” and acting like the person they’re being compared to… which will eventually result in them being exhausted and losing their identity.

Since they are children, their strongest influence is adults — everything they say counts as fact and is rarely questioned. That’s why, if you compare introverted children to extroverted ones, the former will associate being quiet as a weakness and being loud as a strength. I’ve often been compared, too. I remember this feeling of being stuck, torn between my desire to please and not disappoint adults whom I idolized, and my inability to act like someone I was not (and will never be). By comparing your introverted child to other kids, you’re acknowledging (inadvertently or not) that certain personality traits are considered “better” than others (i.e., your child’s). Instead, what your introverted child really needs is to be accepted and reassured that there’s nothing wrong with them. (Read more.)