Tea at Trianon: The Rituals of Grief

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Monday, April 30, 2007

The Rituals of Grief

Under the Gables has a thought-provoking article on the rituals of grief. Our society has pared down the external manifestations of mourning which were psychologically healing ways of dealing with pain. For all of our license, we are such a repressed society. People seem to use violence and sexuality as outlets of emotions that were once given an expression by religious ritual, customs and even by great art, music, and drama. My sister was told on the day of our father's funeral that she should not wear black because she was "celebrating" his life. My sister said, "I want to wear black because I am sad." Political correctness is callous and inhuman. Share

6 comments:

Michelle Therese said...: My mother, who died of cancer, wouldn't let us have a funeral. She said it was "selfish" and made her death "all about you." Instead we had to have this "celebration of life" thing and no one felt free to cry or show any real emotions. And so she died and we never had the chance to mourn together as a family. I tried to have a Mass for her on All Souls Day but some family members found out and pitched such a fit I didn't go through with it - I was too weak and in shock.; May 1, 2007 at 3:52:00 AM EDT
elena maria vidal said...: Oh, Coffee, I completely understand. My dad died of cancer. It is always a very vulnerable time when a parent has died, and there is such agony when the very people who should be offering comfort are antagonizing you instead. You can still have a Mass said for your mother, at a religious house or some discreet place. Or email me her name and I'll have a mass said for her, dear.; May 1, 2007 at 7:58:00 AM EDT
Jeffrey Smith said...: " For all of our license, we are such a repressed society."
Truer words were never spoken.; May 1, 2007 at 8:46:00 AM EDT
Anonymous said...: That article certainly does shed light on the bewildering mentality exhibited by our society. The primary emotionality seems to be bacchanalia or mass murder.; May 1, 2007 at 10:05:00 PM EDT
Anonymous said...: I remember when my mother who also died of cancer at only 56 years of age. We knew she was dying but still the pain was almost unbearable.

At times people need to LISTEN rather than 'give advice'. I remember crying for the loss of my mother when one of my fellow catholics said 'now, now Marie you mustn't dwell on sadness that is selfish'..This was the day AFTER my mothers funeral.

I miss my mother every day and at times I still cry in privacy...but I also honour my mothers memory by trying to be the best of who I am and to embrace LIFE....

Coffee wife, speak to your Priest about your feelings and let him know you would like to offer up a Mass...Go where YOUR heart leads...Am so sorry for your loss.

Elena you are such an inspiring woman, I am sure your father would be so very proud of the light and love you share with all of us through this wonderful blog.

God bless you all.

Yours in Christ,

Marie; May 2, 2007 at 4:11:00 AM EDT
elena maria vidal said...: Thank you, Marie. Please pray for my father's soul.; May 2, 2007 at 9:11:00 AM EDT