Saturday, May 12, 2007


I have a female relative who is a beautiful sixteen year old, trying to live a Catholic life in a public high school. She has had two consecutive boyfriends break up with her because she refused to have sex with them. “Maggie,” as I will call my relative, has found this difficult but is determined to live a life of virtue. The more I think about it, the more outraged I become. Maggie is expected to give her body, her soul, her honor and her health to some boy who obviously does not love her and who is not prepared to take care for her and her future children. For what? For the dubious pleasure of being groped and pawed and penetrated by some callow youth? And then be passed on to some other boy when he tires of her? At least in the bad, decadent old days a gentleman felt obliged to provide his mistress with a house, a carriage and a maid, like Gigi’s aunt. At least a courtesan would come out of an affair with some nice jewelry. But our young girls are expected to give everything for nothing. It is not even prostitution; it is nothing but rape.

When I was in grad school, a seemingly nice young man took me out to dinner. We had a pleasant time; he took me home immediately afterwards, at my request. I found out later that his friends were outraged that he had spent $75 on the dinner but I had not slept with him as a recompense. I thought to myself that I was worth more than $75. If I were going to embark upon a lifestyle of conferring sexual favors in exchange for material comforts, I would expect diamond bracelets or a ruby necklace. At least. Why are women and girls expected to give their all for less than what prostitutes and courtesans once received? For that matter, why are women willing to settle for anything less than marriage? I am glad that Maggie has some sense. May God strengthen and protect her. Share


Anonymous said...

I think parents need to step up to the plate. There are too many out there who encourage their sons to 'sow their wild oats BEFORE settling down with a 'nice girl'.

I also know that there is a lot of peer pressure on boys to 'lose their virginity' at least by the time they are 16 years old. Are boys mature at this age? Ofcourse not. And for the boys who do decide to live chaste lives they then run the gauntlet of sniggering and smirking.
There are even parents who will take their sons to prostitutes in fear that their son may be 'gay'. *sigh*

As for the good ole days...not when you look at England in Dickensian was terrible and mean.
In the end 'Gigi' is just a movie, I like the movie very much...but prostitution is still prostition no matter how much it is gift wrapped.

It is a sad state of affairs where our young are being pressured to have sex BEFORE marriage.

Sorry Elena didnt mean to lecture lol.

Yours in Christ,


Ginny said...

I applaud your neice.I'm 24 and when folks hear I am a virgin they are so shocked, first question is what are you waiting for? What's wrong with you? Marriage and nothing is wrong with me.It is not easy being a girl/woman today because of how casual sex has become. Sex has become as casual as taking a bath and changing partners is as common as changing ones clothing. I know that I am worth more than dinner and a movie and have had guys leave or sever all ties when I make it quite clear sex is not on the menu, so if that's what you are after might as well keep walking.

What happened to the sacredness of sex, the beauty, the intimacy associated with it? Sex has been reduced to 'animal behaviour', a selfish, selfindulgent act thats all about me, myself and I.

But what I really don't get is that some guys, cant say all, but some guys want to have sex with Jane, Lucy and Susie and then want to marry a 'virgin girl' cause they will never marry any girl that will 'put out' so easily.

Girls need to realise how precious they are and have to respect themselves in all aspects of their lives, clothes, speech etc etc and that when a guy says' but I love you so why cant we have sex?' Well if you LOVED me you would not want to use me or hurt me and would LOVE me enough to deny your desires for love of me.

So what is a girl to do? Pray for your future mate, pray that he will have the strength to wait and that he will treat all women around him with the love and respect he would want you (his future mate) to be treated with. Vice Versa for the guys.

Sorry for the rant but this is very close to my heart. Do keep all us girls out there in your prayers. Pray for us and our mates to be, we need it.

Michelle Therese said...

We are so-called "sexually liberated" but all I see is women being sexually used and thrown away like trash. This is the reason we have a swiftly growing class of poor single mothers.

I feel sorry for your relative! I know how she feels too. I went without a date for ten long years because "word got out" that I wouldn't do anything unless married. What a sick world we live in!

Anonymous said...

Dear Elena,

i am so very sorry for Maggie. It makes my blood boil hearing this kind of stories, but they are all too common.
Nowadays women must regain a sense of dignity.

Anonymous said...

Amen to everythign you said!~!!

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

Truly, this is outrageous.

What's the most disheartening of all is that it's mainly the women in our society who are telling young girls to sleep around in the name of "empowerment". Certain popular strains of the feminist movement (e.g. Cosmo magazine type stuff) teach our young women that the way to be powerful as a woman is to act like a man (an immoral man, at that) in matters of sex.

elena maria vidal said...

I agree with you all. And what is also sad is that there are many virtuous young men who also suffer from the "hooking up" which deprives them of true romance and courtship as well.

Anonymous said...

Males sever ties even when they have HAD sex with the girl, so best not give it away in the first place.

You defined the situation beautifully, Elena. We knew a family who explained to their daughters that they were precious jewels and as parents it was their duty to keep them from being tarnished.

Anonymous said...

Elena-Maria, In about 3 weeks time my daughter Genevieve will be getting married. I never doubted but that she would be chaste and enter into her marriage in the odor of sanctity. She is 22, he is 23. I never doubted this man either. We raised her to be chaste and modest, his parents raised him to be chaste and modest.

Genevieve also surrounded herself with virtuous women.

de Brantigny

elena maria vidal said...

I am so happy for your daughter, dear M. de Brantigny. Please pass on my best wishes to her for a beautiful wedding.

Anonymous said...

When a girl is ditched by a guy because she said "no" to his lust, then she knows just how much he regarded her.
Like Ginny, I'm also waiting for marriage. (I'm also her age)
I didn't really date in college and grad school. The guy friends I went with for an evening or hung out were gentlemen and respected me.