Tea at Trianon: Is Romance Dead or Delayed?

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Tuesday, February 3, 2026

Is Romance Dead or Delayed?

Courtship was once an almost ritualized part of society. It enabled romance to flourish while protecting virtue. Our young people now have nothing. From Public Discourse:

This gap between desire and ability points to a deeper issue, I believe: one that goes beyond individual willpower and speaks to the zeitgeist of 2026 and how we learn (or don’t learn) about relationships in the first place. According to social learning theory, we develop behaviors by observing and imitating others. But what happens when the examples we see are few and often unhealthy? Many young adults today have grown up without witnessing strong, enduring relationships, leaving them with no blueprint for how to sustain loving, intimate ones themselves. Add social messages that prioritize careers over connection (especially in the college and postgrad years), the influence of the digital age where it’s easier to DM than to initiate a real-life conversation, and choice overload that makes it feel like there’s always someone better just a swipe away, and it’s no wonder that young adults feel anxious when it comes to love, romance, and relationship formation.

Are we surprised then, by the rise of “situationships” and hook-ups (words our grandparents never heard of)? In a culture that views dependence as weakness, no one wants to ask, “What are we?” for fear of seeming too needy or serious. So casually engaging in one-night stands and having “stayovers” without commitment has become the norm for many young adults. The problem? When we just show up in our bodies, we are dodging vulnerability and visibility; authentic intimacy requires that we show up with our whole selves. (Read more.)