Tea at Trianon: Holiday Etiquette Dos and Don’ts

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Sunday, December 15, 2019

Holiday Etiquette Dos and Don’ts

From Southern Lady:

So here are some humorous but true thoughts on being the perfect guest:

The perfect guest always arrives on time.
This is a biggy. Being late to any event where food has been prepared and timed for the appointed hour really drives a hostess mad. If you are going to be late, you probably know about it before the time to be there. Call, let her know, and tell her to go ahead without you. Then jump in at the course they are on when you arrive.

The perfect guest leaves the cellphone off the table and puts it away until after the party.
If you are expecting a call, excuse yourself from the table and check your phone. Using your cellphone at the table is rude and totally unacceptable. One lady I know has a cellphone box that she keeps at the door, and each guest is asked to place their phone in it. I have often wanted to see one phone ring and eight people dive for the box! Common sense should prevail.

The perfect guest does not bring another guest.
End of comment.

The perfect guest usually brings a hostess gift.
However, do not bring food unless the dinner is covered dish, where all guests are bringing food. There is nothing more irritating than when a guest shows up with a dish of food and expects it to be served at the meal. The hostess has planned the menu and isn’t expecting any additions. If you feel you must take food (being from the South, I know some just can’t help it, bless their hearts!), then take something for the family to eat at another time. If you want to make a dessert, then clear it with the hostess before you begin making it. If she says she has everything covered, take her at her word. Great hostess gifts include flowers (already in a container), wine, candy, or a book—something to show appreciation.

The perfect guest knows when to go home.
There have been times when I look back and remember dinners where I was still talking to a guest long after everyone had left and wishing in my heart that she knew how bad my feet hurt from standing and cooking. Not to mention that after guests leave, the cleaning begins. So leave when it’s over. If it’s your very best friend, then tell her to take her shoes off, put on an apron, and help.

The perfect guest writes a thank you note.
Just a few simple lines written by hand mean so much to the hostess who prepared a lovely meal for you. (Read more.)