Why You Shouldn’t Sleep With Your Boyfriend

From Regina:

For 2000 years, the Church has regarded marriage as a sacrament, an outward sign of God’s grace. This is in contrast to most religions, where marriage is a contract, which can be terminated when one or the other partner is unhappy. Marriage was instituted – like all other sacraments – as a way to help you get to heaven. A Catholic husband knows what his job is: to help his wife and children get to heaven. That’s his Prime Directive: He needs to do whatever needs to be done to help his wife and children be holy. Why? Because he loves them, and he wants eternal life for them and himself.

This is why he works hard to earn a living. Not so he can have all the latest toys. That is called selfishness – just the same as you blowing all your money shopping.  This is why he insists on practicing your Faith. Not because he’s weird. Because he knows that is the way to grow closer and stay in the state of grace. This is why he helps you whenever he can. Not because he’s a fair-minded feminist. Because he knows you need help, and he wants to make your life better. Why? Because that will help you be holier—and get you to heaven. This is why he avoids pornography, excessive drinking, gambling, drugs and womanizing. Not because he’s boring. Because he knows all of that is ‘sin’ — the road to deep unhappiness for you, for him and for your future children.

So, does your boyfriend know all this? Do you think he is capable of committing himself to this goal, for the rest of his life? (Read more.)

Meanwhile, the hook-up culture is making people miserable. From Evie:

Oxytocin, commonly referred to as the “love hormone,” is one of the chemicals your body releases during sex. It encourages bonding behavior in us, and also inclines us toward trust, empathy, and relaxation. This same hormone is released in women during childbirth and breastfeeding as well, and considering how strong we know the bonds are between mothers and their children, it should give you an idea of how powerful this chemical can be. Oxytocin has been cited as one of the biological mechanisms promoting monogamy in humans, which incidentally, puts our bodies in direct odds with the concept of casual sex. 

Feelings of emptiness and unhappiness that people report after casual hook-ups aren’t a sign that they just need to “get over it” or that they’re “too clingy.” They’re a completely natural response to pair-bonding with someone who won’t actually be sticking around for the close relationship your brain has now conditioned you for. And what’s even more distressing is that some people may think that yet another hook-up is exactly what’s needed to cure that hollowness. In reality though, engaging in more sex that lacks the accompanying emotional intimacy will likely only exacerbate the feelings of emotional vulnerability, not heal them. (Read more.) 

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