Tea at Trianon: Chaste Courtship is Best

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Chaste Courtship is Best

The long-term negative consequences of premarital sex. To quote:

Popular ideas are not always good ideas. Rubbing mercury on men's hats to add sheen, blowing in asbestos for insulation and smoking cigarettes were all popular at one time. Unfortunately, handling mercury causes insanity, and both asbestos exposure and smoking cigarettes cause lung cancer.

Sex before marriage, even among those who are not engaged, is clearly popular: Recent surveys have found that nearly 88 percent of young adults (ages 18 to 29) are sexually active before marriage. But is it a good idea? A growing body of research finds that premarital sex undermines the chances for a successful marriage. This is significant, since roughly the same percentage of men and women list a healthy marriage as a life goal. Studies at Cornell University of 600 married couples, at Brigham Young University of 2,035 married couples and researchers at Macquarie University in Australia have all come to the same basic conclusions:

•Sex before marriage can adversely impact the romance and sex lives of couples after they marry.

•The earlier couples began having sex in their relationship, the more it's likely to limit their future growth as a couple. This is especially true if sexual relations begin in the first several months of the relationship. The longer couples, wait the better. Waiting until the wedding night appears to result in the strongest marriages.

•The more sexual partners a person has before marriage, the lower the chances for enjoying romantic feelings after marriage.

The group included in the BYU study was about average regarding premarital sex: 84 percent had sex before marriage; a majority had sex within two months of when they started dating; 16 percent delayed intercourse until marriage.

Dean Busby, who led the study, reported couples who waited to have sex until marriage described the quality of their marital sex life higher (15 percent), the stability of their marriage stronger (22 percent higher) and their overall relationship satisfaction higher (20 percent) than those who did not wait.

The Cornell study explains why: “A strong sexual desire may thwart the development of other key ingredients of a healthy relationship, such as commitment, mutual understanding or shared values.” Moreover, “good sex is sometimes confused with love; some couples overlook problematic aspects of their relationship that ultimately matter more in the long run.” (Read more.)