On Being a Gentleman

Here is a passage from Father Lawrence Lovasik's book The Hidden Power of Kindness (Sophia Institute Press, 1999.) It describes the manner of a true gentleman; you can easily substitute the word "lady" as well.

A gentleman has his eyes on all those present; he is tender toward the bashful, gentle toward the distant, and merciful toward the absent. He guards against introducing any topics that may irritate or wound; he is seldom wearisome. He makes light of favors that he confers. He never speaks of himself, except when compelled to do so, never defends himself by a heated retort, has no liking for slander or gossip, is careful not to impute wrong motives to those who interfere with him, interprets everything for the best, if he can, and, if he cannot, is silent.

A gentleman is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, and never insinuates evil that he dare not say out. He observes the maxim that we should ever conduct ourselves toward an enemy as if he were to one day be our friend. (Lovasik, p.15)

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