Purity and "Catholic Porn"

Terry has an interesting discussion about methods of promoting chastity. He cites an article by Dr. Alice von Hildebrand questioning the prudence of some chastity programs which use graphic descriptions of human relations, combined with lurid stories of promiscuous lifestyles. My husband calls it "Catholic porn" because it may become an excuse to talk about sex under the guise of lamenting the evils of fornication. It is as if a bunch of alcoholics at an AA meeting talked about their favorite cocktails the whole time, all the while saying how terrible it is to drink.

The holiness and beauty of intimate marital relations requires that one approaches the topic with modesty and restraint, especially in mixed company. There is a natural modesty which exists between the sexes, and to break down that reserve under the guise of promoting chastity is very dangerous, especially when those who have retained their innocence are present. And how many times, in the very house of God, within the hearing of little children, have certain priests spoken in a graphic manner...too often. Even some lay people, while promoting NFP at Mass, have given more detail than is necessary for children to hear. Or for single people to hear, for that matter....

Purity is a fragile virtue and should never be taken for granted. I view with consternation those who have only lived a chaste life for a few months or a few years lecturing others about how to be chaste. Unless someone has lived a life of intense penance in a monastery, I would prefer not to have them lecture me on purity, until they have twenty or thirty years of chaste living behind them. It is especially inappropriate for unmarried people to be constantly discussing sexuality, even more so when their experience of it is only from books, movies and committing fornication, not from the marriage bed.

Someone who has never experienced the beauty of married love should not be talking to young people about such explicit matters. It is different, however, to receive some guidance from religious and those leading a life of celibacy. Those who have fully embraced celibacy for the kingdom in the religious life have a profound understanding of marriage-- because they ARE married, to Jesus and His Church. They know meaning of true love and commitment. However, in the long run, it is better, in my opinion, for married ladies, preferably mothers, to give explanations to young girls. And the same goes for boys, hearing about marital relations from married men, preferably their fathers. Share