Friday, March 23, 2007

How to Stop Vulgar Language...

...That is, if you want it stopped. If you are someone who enjoys crude jokes and expletives, then do not read this post, it will only annoy you. Of course, when it is my husband using colorful language as he watches Fox News, I say, "Watch your mouth!" He apologizes immediately, gentleman that he is. He respects my wifely prerogative to object to certain oaths and indeed he would be crestfallen if I did not. If I ever joined in, he would be horrified.

As a young girl in my twenties I was in Washington, DC on July 4, with one of my cousins. We had just come from a Beach Boys concert on the Mall, and ran into my brother and sister and several of their friends. One of the young men started telling a graphic story about his exploits with some girl. His voice was quite loud. A group of my younger sister's friends were there, looking a little embarrassed. "There are ladies present!" I said to the young man, and he begged pardon immediately. The girls looked as if the idea of being ladies had not occurred to them but they liked appellation, and glowed as if suddenly ennobled. That was 1986.

Twenty years later, my husband and I were walking across the parking lot of Applebees in our university town, accompanied by our family. It was the broad daylight of a summer dinner hour. We passed a group of college students, boys and girls, cheerfully discussing their favorite sexual positions. Stupid girls. Then they wonder why the men do not respect them, and why no one will marry them.

A few years ago we went with some fellow parishioners to a pizza pub after an evening Mass. A priest accompanied us. He embarked on a course of ribald humor. The church ladies, most of them, anyway, who an hour before had been receiving Communion, giggled appreciatively. As the humor became more suggestive, my husband thought it his duty to intervene, but he was ignored. Finally, I left the room. I said nothing, but the point was made. When I returned, the climate had become more civilized.

The world has become an increasingly vulgar place because women have allowed it. In trying to become empowered, they have lost what power they had. A lady can put a stop to rudeness and crudeness by a speaking up, or by walking away. In the home, the very glance of a wife or a mother should restore decency and polite speech. Ladies, it is for us to raise the bar. Share


papabear said...

We've destroyed shame for the young, especially with all this talk about self-esteem.

Anonymous said...

I hope and pray that many young (and older, for that matter) women find and read this sage advice! It's a symptom of our times; an overflow of the porn-sex-saturated society we are literally drowning in.

Anonymous said...

My DH relates that sometimes other men will assume just because he's a man that he wants to speak in derrogatory ways about women, cuss, swear or hear tales of conquest or vulgarity.

When my DH changes the topic suddenly or tries to redirect the conversation, he said that often he is met with shameful downturned glances, as if they know they are doing wrong and are embarrassed.

Other times he is met with rancor and a 'how dare you judge me' attitude. 'How dare you ask me to be civil and speak of women with respect? Don't impose your values on me - I can cuss all I want to you wimp' type of look.

I admire my DH very much - he takes a stand even when it isn't popular! :) Excuse my bragging, but only if there were more men like my DH who led the way to civility and restraint!


Anonymous said...

A priest who broaches life in the boudoir with potential penitents is about as unnecessary as an unelected president who concocts a pack of lies and plunges his country into a futile war of choice that destroys the livelihoods of hundreds of thousands.

elena maria vidal said...

Very true, papabear, our youth have lost their sense of shame.

Thanks, Georgette, people are drowning in filth, that pretty much describes it.

Margaret, my dear husband is the same is the same way. So are my brothers. My father, too.

Yes, sc, that particular man is no longer functioning as a priest, which is not surprising. Please pray for him.

Anonymous said...

Last weekend, I was at a local park's playground with my young son (he is 2 years, 7 months old). Shortly after arriving, about 10 kids showed up, looking like they had just come from the beach (we live about 1 mile from Fort Lauderdale beach). They looked liked they might be in middle school. They began to joke around using the most vulgar language. I'm not sure my father heard such talk when he was in the navy! One of the girls was wearing the skimpiest string bikini and thought nothing of laying out a towel right next to the little slide (where the littlest ones play) and stretching out. I thought about saying something to them, but I thought if they became confrontational, my young son might be frightened. So, I decided to say nothing and was about to tell my son we had to leave (I couldn't let him listen to this talk). But then I heard one of them say they wanted to go back down to the beach. Sure enough, within a few minutes they had gathered their belongings and left.

These kids had no qualms about using this language in front of my son. It made me wonder whether this language was used in their homes. It saddened me that my son was not going to be able to enjoy this time and the playground thanks to these kids. I was relieved when they left.