Tea at Trianon: Your Habit Of Apologizing Too Much Could Be A Sign Of A Bigger Issue

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Your Habit Of Apologizing Too Much Could Be A Sign Of A Bigger Issue

They are not referring here to a simple apology as demanded by justice or courtesy, but the constant habit of over-apologizing by someone who is trying their best to do what is right. From The Zoe Report:

"Over-apologizing reveals an unhealed wound from the past," Pharaon says. So understanding why you do it in the first place is a key part of the healing process. To do so, she recommends getting curious about the origins of the habit by asking yourself: What does it try to protect me from? In what ways has apologizing kept me safe or gotten me something I wanted or needed in the past?
"That understanding becomes the gateway to changing your relationship with the apologizing, and ultimately leads you to feeling more empowered and confident," Pharaon says. "As you begin to unpack what over-apologizing serves, you can start to use apologies when needed and stand in your confidence in the other moments." (Read more.)