Also, it has been found (surprise!) that married people experience less stress than single people, especially as parents. Share
The Mystical Doctor
1 week ago
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Life Without Fathers
Also, it has been found (surprise!) that married people experience less stress than single people, especially as parents. Share
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9 comments:
I'd be willing to bet all the comments lobbed back and forth have been made by white middle class people. It would be interesting to hear some African-Americans weigh in on this issue.
P.S. The comment in the article that our duty as a parent is to serve our children ???......that is what children like to think.
Julygirl – the service isn’t what children think it means, but what adults know (should know) it means.
You serve children well when you teach them not to run out into the street, or keep them from any other destructive behavior;
when you make them understand their responsibilities and duties, and even some social graces, so that they can take their places eventually in society and be productive and useful citizens;
when you give them a strong foundation in God, and form their minds to be able to withstand the trials inherent in life;
when you educate them to read with a critical mind and understand what is being said and by whom;
and on a less exalted note, when you keep a house, themselves and their clothes clean (although I really think a fumigation center needs to be part of the laundry room) and teach them to do the same; and when you provide them with nourishing food, so that they will be healthy, and teach them to do the same for themselves.
That is service. To do it means that we have to put our lives and our comfort on the back burner. Unfortunately, some parents drop the ball entirely and opt for the ‘service’ as children see it.
Yes, the darling little beasties would like to think of themselves as a modern day Henry VIII and “bring me another drumstick!” They don’t want to go to church, they don’t want to clean their rooms or feed the dog or do chores, they don’t want to be pleasant to either family or guests (not their own), they don’t want to go to school, they don’t want to eat their vegetables, they, they, they…
It is our service to our children to make them understand that that is not how it works here.
What I found sad (although not as appalling as the reason for the article) was that no matter how often he said that the article was NOT a slam against single parents, those who through circumstance found themselves in that role, he still had to repeat it in the comments.
First comment off the mark was "How dare you insult single mothers!"
Are reading and comprehension not taught in schools anymore?
It is sad that the single mothers immediately saw criticism of themselves where there wasn't any.
Well, as a black woman I can say, sadly that over 70% of our kids are born out of wedlock. The result have not been pretty. Jennifer Aniston is a flake but if she has a illegitimate child she can at least pay nannies to look out for it. A working class black woman has nobody to help her but her mother, who may be too old or too busy with her own kids. She can't afford to send Johnny away to boarding shool when his friends become worrisome, and she can't effectively fight the Hip Hop mysogny culture becuase she doesn't have a husband at home who can teach his son that real men don't treat women like crackers at a cocktail party.
I once had a commentator on my blog, who seemed to take great offense at the idea, implicit in one of my posts, that it was better to have two parents than one. (Although, in this case, the missing parent would have been the mother). I was rather baffled, to say the least. Even after I took pains to reassure this person that I wasn't against those who found themselves forced into the situation of single parents, I still got a very upset response, citing the failings of many two-parent families, as if that were proof that there was nothing intrinsically better about having two parents.
Mrs. Rudd, I am aware of what was meant regarding the statement serving our children, I was just being facetious. Just a little humor on my part.
Sorry, Julygirl.
Now, had we been talking at the barbecue yesterday, I would have known you were tipping me the wink by the way your eyes rolled or a little smirk - and nodded in agreement.
Online, no way to tell if you are serious or funning. Abject apologies.
(Oh my. If apple season cometh, can the end of the barbecue year be far behind?)
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