Tea at Trianon: Extroversion Is Not the Only Way

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Friday, September 13, 2019

Extroversion Is Not the Only Way

The first weeks of college can be very lonely for students who are shy. From Washington Square News:

No matter their school or origin, almost every college student will learn about isolation at the beginning of their college career. Starting college is hard for introverts, and extroverts can also flounder when not constantly surrounded by people. The new city screams at us to socialize at any cost. But as confusing as our first year is supposed to be, this start of a new chapter shouldn’t need to be painful. Perhaps the most important lesson a first-year can learn is to appreciate their own company, and that solitude can be valuable.

We often seek the comforting presence of a friendly face. The school I attended from seventh to ninth grade forbade students from staying indoors during recess. Sitting alone in the high school cafeteria is the textbook definition of an ostracized loner. I desperately clung to my friend group formed from the convenience of seeing each other daily, even though we all had only one thing in common. Companionship was worth more than anything else in the world.

But constant company is not always attainable, and there will be plenty of times in our lives where we are alone. We can review our goals and aspirations, refocus in the present and breathe. Being alone can be helpful, productive and calming, and we should shake off the conditioning that constantly reminds us that we need to have a best friend right here right now, when the first week has barely passed.

Welcome Week is the perfect environment to examine the social conditioning that exclaims that a functioning human must be extroverted and sociable to survive and for some of us, it can be exhausting. I packed my schedule full, trying to squeeze in as many performances and socials as possible, then took a step back. What was I so desperate for? We meet a stranger, make small talk for five minutes, then forget all about each other. (Read more.)