Tea at Trianon: Holiday Etiquette Tips

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Holiday Etiquette Tips

From Kitchn:

When to arrive at a party?

If you live by the motto that it’s “better late than never,” you may be on to something. Although Martha doesn’t suggest showing up to parties two hours late, she does say that not showing up at the time it is scheduled to start is just fine. “A little past call time is always nice for the host because they’re never quite ready,” Martha suggested.

How long you should wait for a tardy guest before serving dinner?

“Not too long,” said Martha. “Just leave the plates — actually, push their plates to the end of the table.” (Note to self: Do not arrive late to Martha’s party.)

If you can move place cards if you don’t like the person you’re seated next to?

“No,” warned Martha. “You’re not allowed to. On Thanksgiving, my daughter moved all the place cards without my knowledge. That didn’t go over so well.” Check out the full segment below, along with Martha’s recipe for molasses-ginger crisps. We think they make a thoughtful gift, even if the eggs you use come from the grocery store. (Read more.)

More tips, HERE.

The comfort of scruffy hospitality, from Treehugger:

My friends Dana and John perfectly practice what the Rev. Jack King referred to as "scruffy hospitality." Their kitchen is small. The wood cabinets are dark and a few decades old. Spices and jars for sugar and flour line the countertops because there's nowhere else to put them. A tall, round table shoved in a corner has mismatched bar stools crammed around it.

The sliding glass doors in the kitchen lead to a back deck with a well-used chiminea, an outdoor table and a large variety of chairs and cushions, many of them bought at yard sales. We circle the chairs around the chiminea on weekend nights during all four seasons, whenever Dana and John put out a simple call out through text or Facebook that says, "Fire tonight!"

There will always be food, but like the bar stools and deck chairs, the food is mismatched. Our hosts provide some food; John may have the urge to make jalapeño poppers or Dana may put together some version of salsa with whatever's fresh from the garden, but there's not a formally prepared meal. Everyone just brings something. It's perfectly acceptable — encouraged even — to bring odds and ends of foods that need to get used up. I often bring wedges of cheese that have already been cut into or half a baguette to slice up and toast to dip in hummus. Everyone brings a little something to drink. And it's a glorious feast.

This kitchen and deck won't be featured in Better Homes and Gardens anytime soon, but maybe they should be. They are two of the most hospitable spaces I know. By opening up their home as-is, Dana and John are the most gracious hosts I know. I almost wrote "by opening up their home with its imperfections," but that's not accurate. Their home is perfect — just like it is. (Read more.)