Tea at Trianon: Caregiver Stress

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Caregiver Stress

Here are some helpful articles and videos for caregivers of the elderly. To quote:

Home Instead provides resources to help family caregivers understand the many emotions of caregiving. Among those tools are a video series about understanding the feelings of caregiving and a Family Caregiver Support Web Seminar Series.

In addition, the Home Instead Senior Care network and caregiving expert Dr. Amy D'Aprix recommend the following process to help caregivers come to grips with the rigors of caregiving and avoid depression:

Acknowledge feelings. It's OK to feel conflicting emotions as a family caregiver, Dr. D'Aprix notes. "Think of it as a pie. Perhaps 30 percent of the pie is anger and 20 percent is guilt, but the rest of the pie is love. Seeing it as a pie helps caregivers realize that caregiving comes with a range of emotions, and that's OK."

Release feelings in a safe way. Journaling is one effective way that family caregivers can get their feelings out. Joining a support group or talking to a therapist or non-judgmental friend are others.

Manage the situation. Oftentimes there's no other way around it: caregivers need help. If you can't find that support with family, go to trusted friends, faith community or consider professional caregiving support.

Find solutions. "Make a list of the things you enjoy doing to reduce stress," Dr. D'Aprix advises. "Reading, watching a favorite television show, attending a faith service, exercising, visiting a museum, meeting friends and listening to music are all activities that many caregivers enjoy. Keep a list and build in mini breaks or bite-size getaways - 15 minutes at a time. It's not all or nothing."