Friday, October 30, 2020

Being the B-List Friend

 Many young mothers go through this. It is important to cultivate a life of happiness at home. We cannot rely on others for our happiness, especially when they do not have the most basic good manners, and let us know when we are being excluded. From Her View From Home:

It’s not fun to be a B-list friend.

When you are the B-list friend, it’s painful to watch a group of your friends walk into a restaurant without you as you drive by on your way home from work. It hurts to hear all about how much fun your friends had last weekend at yet another “Sunday Funday” without you. It’s uncomfortable to sit with your friends at a youth sporting event for our children and listen to them plan their weekend away at the beach—a weekend without you.

I’ve tried to be the planner myself—inviting them over for girl’s nights, or to our house for barbeques, or out for dinner. They come, they laugh, they tell me how much they love me, they say, “We should do this more often,” and then they move on with their A-list friends and forget about me.

I’ve tried to talk to some of them about it, trying to see if I have done or said something offensive or hurtful so I can make it better. But, talking about it almost always backfires into me being labeled “too sensitive” or they tell me I’m “imagining things.” (Read more.)

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2 comments:

julygirl said...

This is hard on a person if you are an extrovert. Try creating fulfilling, interesting, self actualizing activities that you can enjoy by yourself such as painting, gardening, researching a subject, subscribing to the Great Books series, redecorating on a budget, teach yourself to sew, if you have children take them on an outing everyday no matter what the weather, learn about birds, cooking projects, get a part time job, etc. etc. Soon getting together with your fair weather friends will become shallow.

elena maria vidal said...

All good advice. It is better to have a few true friends than many false ones.