Wednesday, February 11, 2015

How to Draw Out an Extrovert

From Verily:
Opposites attract, right? While that may be true in magnetics, when it comes to the finer points of friendship, mixing introverts and not-so-introverts can be harder than it looks.
This is especially true for extroverts looking to be there for an introvert friend. If you’re of the extroverted variety, a simple “how was your day?” might launch a 30-minute blow-by-blow of insanity. Your introverted friend, however, may be more inclined to just say, “good.” We may think that they don’t have much to say since we gave them a chance, but really, introverts need to be drawn out by further probing and gentle encouragement.

Your extroverted ways don’t mean you’re incapable of having good introvert friends. Jennifer B. Kahnweiler Ph.D., author of Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference, explains that, contrary to popular belief, “Extroverts can be incredible listeners, because they draw people out by their open-ended questions and paraphrasing. Extroverts are able to develop rapport with others and know how to make people comfortable.”

So really, you’re a natural! But you do need a different strategy than “treat others as you want to be treated.” Introverts require a different script. So if you’re grabbing your favorite introverted friend for drinks tonight and are hoping to get her out of her shell, here are six tips to help you do just that. (Read more.)

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