Why do so many of us not only permit our teenage daughters to dress like this—like prostitutes, if we're being honest with ourselves—but pay for them to do it with our AmEx cards?ShareI posed this question to a friend whose teenage daughter goes to an all-girls private school in New York. "It isn't that different from when we were kids," she said. "The girls in the sexy clothes are the fast girls. They'll have Facebook pictures of themselves opening a bottle of Champagne, like Paris Hilton. And sometimes the moms and dads are out there contributing to it, shopping with them, throwing them parties at clubs. It's almost like they're saying, 'Look how hot my daughter is.'" But why? "I think it's a bonding thing," she said. "It starts with the mommy-daughter manicure and goes on from there."
I have a different theory. It has to do with how conflicted my own generation of women is about our own past, when many of us behaved in ways that we now regret. A woman I know, with two mature daughters, said, "If I could do it again, I wouldn't even have slept with my own husband before marriage. Sex is the most powerful thing there is, and our generation, what did we know?"
....
In recent years, of course, promiscuity has hit new heights (it always does!), with "sexting" among preteens, "hooking up" among teens and college students, and a constant stream of semi-pornography from just about every media outlet. Varied sexual experiences—the more the better—are the current social norm.
I wouldn't want us to return to the age of the corset or even of the double standard, because a double standard that lets the promiscuous male off the hook while condemning his female counterpart is both stupid and destructive. If you're the campus mattress, chances are that you need therapy more than you need condemnation.
But it's easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn't dream of dropping our daughters off at college and saying: "Study hard and floss every night, honey—and for heaven's sake, get laid!" But that's essentially what we're saying by allowing them to dress the way they do while they're still living under our own roofs.
The Mystical Doctor
1 week ago
8 comments:
Elena-Maria! never would I have thought you would use the S-word in a post!
My oldest grand-daughter have a penchant for dressing in tight jeans, except when she comes by Grandpere and Grandmere. I will buy all of them new clothes if I have to to keep them dressed right.
My neice wrote a note on my FB which lauded Lady Gag(a). my brother and sister in law are liberal so they probably do not care. Pity.
Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. People need to realize what they are doing to their children.
I do not envy parents of teenage girls. How do you protect them from themselves? Mine grew up during the preppy craze so I escaped this current phase.
I would have to diasagree with Brantigny about his liberal in laws and dressing inappropriately. One has nothing to do with the other. What is sad is that class and trying to improve oneself has taken a back seat to "in your face" sexuality. What is wrong with mystery and elegance? I don't understand it because I see it every summer in my office. The girls dress as if they were in a bar and it is not something you care to see every day!
I think some of the so-called conservative women on Fox news dress in a completely inappropriate manner. What happened to business attire? Plunging necklines and dangling junk jewelry are no replacement.
I had a teenage girl once, she remained virtuous. It took a lot of work, her mother directed her to higher ideals, dress, Church and friends. I sent her to France to study and she came back virtuous evan after being by herself. She had friends who were not raised the same way and they did not turn out the same way. She married her High School Love after both graduated. He was brought up the same.
As the mother of a 12 year old, I can tell you that most of the stores that cater to teens and below do not carry age appropriate clothes. GAP kids is too youthful and Justice is too slutty. Now that we are back in Alaska our choices are severely limited.
Abercrombie has SOME cute clothes, little cardigans and blouses, but you have to walk them into a store that has GIGANTIC posters of NAKED men and half dressed women.
I think the sexualization of our youth - through slutty clothes, nasty music lyrics, and morally vacant television shows - is a tragedy.
Thought provoking article. Thanks.
As the mother of a 7 yr old, I can tell you that it is almost the identical situation. I have had to take up sewing!!
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