Tea at Trianon: The Difference Between a Confident Man and a Self-Centered Jerk

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

The Difference Between a Confident Man and a Self-Centered Jerk

From Fatherly:

The first thing to know: Those with oversized egos only seem confident, but the act is a thin veil over some deep-rooted insecurity. To maintain their shaky self-image, egotistical people hinge their entire sense of self on others. Grace Dowd, a therapist in Austin, TX, says egotistical people feed on external validation and live to hear from others how great they are. Because their whole identities focus on maintaining this ideal, egotistical people are usually not willing to hear or accept any negative feedback; they may respond by inciting conflict, either blaming the other person or putting them down.
Even when absent of direct criticism, Bognar says people with big egos see others’ success as a threat. They don’t congratulate others for their achievements or even acknowledge someone’s success, because they see success as a zero-sum game — only one person can be the best, and it’s always going to be them. Egotistical people also act majorly entitled. “They see someone else’s success, and they think, ‘it should have been mine,’” Bognar says. (Read more.)