Tea at Trianon: Lessons from an Epic Marriage

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Friday, November 25, 2011

Lessons from an Epic Marriage

How some people stay together.

I have been exposed in my adult life to just a few epic marriages. One of them is that of Evelyn and Leonard Lauder. The Lauders had been married for 52 years when Mrs. Lauder died Nov. 12 at the age of 75 of complications from nongenetic ovarian cancer. I met Mr. and Mrs. Lauder in the winter of 2010 when I was asked by WSJ. Magazine to interview them for a feature story about what it's like to both live and work together, as they did for Estée Lauder, the cosmetic giant founded by Mr. Lauder's mother in 1946. The interview took place at their Fifth Avenue apartment in Manhattan. It is the fanciest home I have ever been in. Clearly, the Lauders enjoy significant wealth, and there can be no doubt that not having to contend with money concerns separates their relationship from most of ours. But what left a far deeper and immediate impression upon me was something that is so elusive and that can't be bought: lasting chemistry.

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Mr. Lauder sat down with me first. When Mrs. Lauder walked into the den in a pink boat-neck dress, he stopped what he was saying to me, turned to his wife and said, "Don't you look pretty." (Read entire article.)

Julygirl said...: Often significant wealth itself can cause relationship problems.

Inspiring to read about...; November 25, 2011 at 9:36:00 AM EST