Tea at Trianon: Good Manners Down Under

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Good Manners Down Under

I always dread being an "ugly American" when traveling abroad and so like to read up on the customs of other countries. Sometimes we take for granted that just because we Americans do things a certain way everyone else does so, too, and of course that is not the case. Every foreign traveler should remember that you are an ambassador of your country. I was delighted to find a page about New Zealand Etiquette Tips which hopefully is accurate. Share

10 comments:

Enbrethiliel said...: +JMJ+

I'm no expert on Kiwi etiquette, Elena, but I do have one useful tip.

In New Zealand, "tea" means "dinner." So if someone invites you to his home for tea, he doesn't mean scones! (One of my professors once told my class that when she was abroad, she was asked to tea by a friend and "prepared" by not having any lunch beforehand. By the time she figured out the truth, it took all of her self-control not to scarf down the entire plate of little cakes!); March 29, 2009 at 7:31:00 AM EDT
elena maria vidal said...: Interesting! I think the Irish do that, too! Thank you!; March 29, 2009 at 8:31:00 AM EDT
Pentimento said...: Yes, I understand that at a NZ tea you're as likely to get wine to drink as actual tea.

But the etiquette tips really were funny! "Don't confuse New Zealanders with Australians." Hmmm . . .

There's a very funny show (not for children!) on HBO called Flight of the Conchords, about a two-man band from New Zealand trying to make it in New York (we don't get cable, but I try to see it whenever I'm staying in a hotel). The recurring punchline is that the Kiwis are hopelessly sincere and naive, which makes the etiquette tip about not making promises you can't keep seem especially apt. A good friend of mine from NZ told me that the show, which is very popular in America, didn't make it in NZ because people didn't find it funny; too close to the true national character. Also, my understanding is that most Kiwis are very, very witty and funny, so the Conchords fell flat in comparison to nature.

Have a wonderful and safe trip!; March 29, 2009 at 8:57:00 PM EDT
elena maria vidal said...: Yes, I am looking forward to an enjoyable time.; March 29, 2009 at 9:14:00 PM EDT
Jacqueline T. Lynch said...: New Zealand is a lovely country to visit, and we'll look forward to your impressions.

Probably one example of good etiquette an American can employ when traveling to any country is to be a good sport when someone makes a teasing remark about the US, which will invariably happen. Most of the time it's meant in fun. It can reflect well on us not to be too overly sensitive.; March 30, 2009 at 8:07:00 AM EDT
elena maria vidal said...: Thanks, Jacqueline!; March 30, 2009 at 2:08:00 PM EDT
April said...: Hello from Auckland, Elena! (my home town)

The etiquette guide seems quite accurate to this New Zealander. But we're pretty easy going (as long as you don't confuse us with Australia or the Australians - lol).

Have a safe journey and watch out for the harbour and islands of the gulf as you come in to land at Auckland - it can be quite spectacular on a good day. Have a wonderful time in NZ. And do try some of our fantastic wine!; March 31, 2009 at 3:24:00 AM EDT
EnnaVic said...: The tips are a bit serious but none are wrong.

Howver the comment someone made about FOTC is wrong - it was not taken up in NZ immediately because some TV bigwigs were conservative in their decision making - many Kiwis do find the series immensely funny, and followed the boys careers before they made this serious. They did a fundraising concert for Jemaine's old school tonight in Masterton, Wairarapa, and all 2000 tickets were sold out in 90 mins which isn't bad for a rural centre. The series is shown here now and watched avidly in this house :)

The tea / dinner thing is a bit dated - we have always said dinner (and I'm middle aged) - they get used a bit interchangeably so context is everything and if in doubt ask :)

The bit about not mixing up Kiwis and Ockers is pretty important. We are like siblings and will fight to the death in support of each other (see ANZAC tradition) but there is a lot of niggling along the way.

I've been reading your blog for about a month but somehow missed your post about when you are coming down under (or maybe I have yet to find it as I am doing a catchup today :) ). Enjoy your visit :); March 31, 2009 at 6:18:00 AM EDT
EnnaVic said...: PS: I have _never_had tea with a meal as described in that etiquette page. I think that is a confusion with the tea / dinner thing mentioned in your comments *chuckle*; March 31, 2009 at 6:25:00 AM EDT
elena maria vidal said...: Thank you, April, I will be watching from the plane. Hopefully it will be a lovely morning! Come to the convention, if you can!

EnnaVic, I am grateful for the information! These are things which only a native Kiwi could know for certain! I'll be giving a couple talks about my books at the Eucharistic convention in Auckland on April 18 and 19. Stop by if you are able!; March 31, 2009 at 9:45:00 AM EDT