Tea at Trianon: Parties and Manners

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Parties and Manners

Because at a party anything can happen. To quote:

Most people loosen up when enjoying a party, especially after a glass of wine — or three. Lowered inhibitions, however, can lead to uncomfortable or inappropriate discussions.

Should a fellow dinner-party guest say something sexist or racist, your indignation probably says: Confront him now. But that’s a mistake. “Instead, excuse yourself to the ladies’ room if you’re truly uncomfortable; never make a scene,” says Shriftman. “It’s rude to your host and the other guests, since a confrontation is likely to ruin the evening.”

You could also change the subject. Complimenting the food, for example, draws attention away from the uncouth guest and brings praise to your host — a double bonus!

If you must address the offender’s tactlessness, “say something later, one on one,” says Shriftman. And, take a non-combative approach, like this one: “It upset me when you made that joke, and I just needed to let you know how I feel.”

Above all, don’t let one comment ruin your evening. Take a deep breath and focus on the positive aspects of the night, like the chance to connect with friends. (Read entire post.)