Tea at Trianon: Children and Adversity

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Children and Adversity

We all want to protect our children from sorrow and harm. Since we cannot keep life from happening here is some advice on how to help our children handle adversity.

In speaking with parents over the years and observing my own children’s sports and school activities, I have noticed a disturbing trend: There is a powerful reluctance to let our kids struggle or fail. Fairness is the new mantra. We worry more about our children’s self-esteem than preparing them for an independent and successful future. Everyone gets a nice trophy or certificate for simply showing up. Competition is often set aside in favor of participation where everybody is a winner. I bet you have noticed this as well.

Don’t get me wrong. I like fairness. I am also strongly in favor of encouraging young people. But, I also appreciate the pursuit of excellence. Competition can be a healthy thing that also encourages children to excel and give their best effort on the playing field and in school. Instead of assuming that our kids might be hurt or negatively impacted by failure or struggle, perhaps we should consider that they will learn valuable lessons from these experiences. I think we know intuitively as parents and parents-to-be that we are molded by our childhood experiences. How were you shaped by your childhood? How does your upbringing manifest itself in how you are raising your family today? How does it affect your actions at work? How does it affect your faith? Can you trace your actions as an adult to the multitude of experiences you had as a child? Children need to learn from their struggles and failures and experience the accompanying emotions of sadness and frustration. These struggles will teach them to be persistent in the face of adversity later in life. (Read entire article.)

Divine Theatre said...: Failure is the best teacher.; February 25, 2012 at 12:27:00 AM EST
julygirl said...: For the development of character and integrity it is necessary to experience both. However, too many failures creates frustration, a sense of helplessness and a phenomenon known as 'learned helplessness'. But even the tiniest victory goes a long way in aiding a child to think like a winner.; February 25, 2012 at 10:36:00 AM EST