Tea at Trianon: Stern Advice

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stern Advice

Adult children of divorce face extra burdens.

Adult offspring whose parents split up later in life face the usual and expected psychological issues: "They may feel like 'everything I thought was real, isn't,'" says Diana Mercer, an attorney-mediator and author of several books on divorce.

But they also face a series of financial challenges that their cohort with married parents don't have to deal with, Mercer said. Young adult children of divorce may find their college fund ravaged; they may see their family home fall into the hands of Dad's new girlfriend or Mom's new guy. They may feel financially responsible for their parents at an early age, and have to care for single aging parents who won't take care of each other.

And, they may leave their own finances untended. So-called ACODs (Adult Children of Divorce) often exhibit a failure to launch, says Mercer, co-author with Katie Jan Wennechuk of "Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life" (Penguin/Perigee 2010). They may fail to complete their education, line up "grown-up" jobs, or feed their own savings.

Alexandra said...: "They may feel like 'everything I thought was real, isn't,'"

So sad, especially since this seems to be the norm now.

Thanks for sharing this - interesting.; February 9, 2011 at 2:29:00 PM EST