Tea at Trianon: How To . . . Build A Community

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

How To . . . Build A Community

From Matriarch Goals:

There are so many resources to help you throw the “what” of a great party. Ideas abound for the food, the setting, the theme—the visual and edible elements of a great gathering.
What is less abundant in our time is a guide to help you understand the “how” of a great party.
You can set out a fabulous spread of food and decor and still give your guests a very mediocre experience. For example, we’ve all been to weddings where no expense was spared yet something was still missing: that essential party magic where old and young forget what time it is, and where they need to be the next morning, and allow themselves to be caught up in a spirit that takes them outside of themselves and their personal lives and into the communal.
That spirit is not something you can buy.
The “how” of a party, as opposed to the material substance or offerings of the hosts, has to do with the buy-in of the guests themselves. If the guests are asked to contribute to the culture of the gathering itself, as opposed to simply consuming what the hosts have offered, you have the essential component of a really great party.
More importantly—moving your feasts and parties away from something guests consume and into something guests produce is the secret to building a great community. It’s also the secret to raising kids who can successfully mature from the consumers of various feasts and parties to the providers of and revelers in your family and local culture. After all, community is simply culture: what “we” do in certain times and places, on certain days of the year, and for certain events and celebrations. (Read more.)