Tea at Trianon: Understanding the Wounds

John Wilson Croker on Marie-Antoinette

"We have followed the history of Marie Antoinette with the greatest diligence and scrupulosity. We have lived in those times. We have talked with some of her friends and some of her enemies; we have read, certainly not all, but hundreds of the libels written against her; and we have, in short, examined her life with– if we may be allowed to say so of ourselves– something of the accuracy of contemporaries, the diligence of inquirers, and the impartiality of historians, all combined; and we feel it our duty to declare, in as a solemn a manner as literature admits of, our well-matured opinion that every reproach against the morals of the queen was a gross calumny– that she was, as we have said, one of the purest of human beings."

~from History of the Guillotine by John Wilson Croker, 1844

Edmund Burke on Marie-Antoinette

"It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely there never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she had just begun to move in, glittering like a morning star full of life and splendor and joy. Oh, what a revolution....Little did I dream that I should have lived to see such disasters fall upon her, in a nation of gallant men, in a nation of men of honor and of cavaliers! I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards, to avenge even a look which threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone; that of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded...."

~Edmund Burke, October 1790

Friday, September 27, 2024

Understanding the Wounds

From Create Soul Space:

Attachment bonds are a natural result of any intimate relationship. In a healthy relationship, an intimate bond helps us feel safe and reassures us that we’re seen, heard, and unconditionally cherished. In an unhealthy relationship where dynamics of power, coercive control, and intermittent reinforcement are present, the attachment that forms is a trauma bond rather than a bond of mutual self-giving.
Either way, the bond feels real—and it’s excruciating when there’s a violation. Since intimate partner bonds aren’t merely emotional but also impact our biological systems, our bodies are flooded with stress hormones when betrayal is discovered. This can be compared to a sudden and traumatic death—and in a very real way, it is. Grieving is a natural part of the healing process—and one that can’t be avoided. (Read more.)