Understanding the Wounds

 From Create Soul Space:

Attachment bonds are a natural result of any intimate relationship. In a healthy relationship, an intimate bond helps us feel safe and reassures us that we’re seen, heard, and unconditionally cherished. In an unhealthy relationship where dynamics of power, coercive control, and intermittent reinforcement are present, the attachment that forms is a trauma bond rather than a bond of mutual self-giving.

Either way, the bond feels real—and it’s excruciating when there’s a violation. Since intimate partner bonds aren’t merely emotional but also impact our biological systems, our bodies are flooded with stress hormones when betrayal is discovered. This can be compared to a sudden and traumatic death—and in a very real way, it is. Grieving is a natural part of the healing process—and one that can’t be avoided. (Read more.)