I found the below quotation here, via The New Beginning's very thorough post on manners. It is from another century, but not without value for women of today. Reading it, I can see that I would have been considered very wayward by the standards of yesteryear (as my husband would agree. Holding the tongue and restraining the temper are not among my strong points.)
A lady is sweet, even-tempered and kind, never shying away from her Christian duty to any in need. A lady is always properly and nicely dressed, be she tending the sick, having tea or attending the ballet. A lady never raises her voice, for a show of temper is unsightly in a woman. A lady is meek and humble, never seeking to raise herself with words, but always to extol others’ virtues and accomplishments. A lady never knows more than a gentleman on any given subject, and if she does, she is obliged to hold her tongue. A lady never fails to be polite to anyone, be he or she queen or a beggar, a widow or a child. A lady offers everything of herself and her home to any who asks it of her. A lady never seeks the company of a gentleman, and is never alone with a gentleman who is not her relation, husband or fiancé. A lady seeks to give pleasure to those around her, through her words and deeds. A lady never runs, never exerts herself. A lady is generous yet economical. A lady knows when to speak, to add to the conversation with her gentle views, and she knows when to be silent, for men always know the world far better than a woman. A lady is a teacher and a student, imparting lessons of virtue to her children, yet learning obedience and honesty from God. She is always virtuous, always temperate, never rude nor angry. A lady is the morality of the world.
This is beautiful!..... and so very true. I would love to get this framed to put up in my home and to give to some people I know.
ReplyDeleteWell, I cannot agree with all these.
ReplyDeleteFor example I do not agree with the statements below:
1. A lady never knows more than a gentleman on any given subject, and if she does, she is obliged to hold her tongue.
2. A lady knows when to speak, to add to the conversation with her gentle views, and she knows when to be silent, for men always know the world far better than a woman.
Elena, my dear friend...I think that one should take what is good from the past, but not all.
I do not want to be a THIS kind of lady who is holding her tongue anyway. :-).
I think that the model of woman which Edith Stein or JPII propose is closer to what I want to be.
"1. A lady never knows more than a gentleman on any given subject, and if she does, she is obliged to hold her tongue.
ReplyDelete2. A lady knows when to speak, to add to the conversation with her gentle views, and she knows when to be silent, for men always know the world far better than a woman."
Ha, ha! Yes, dear, those are the things that do not sit too well with me either. As I said, it is from another century, and we take the things that are good from it and discard what is not so good. I do think that as far as married women go, however, it is not good in a marriage for a wife to be correcting her husband's errors all the time, especially in front of other people, which can be demeaning to a man. And vice versa, a husband should not belittle his wife either, especially before others. Such courtesies also are little acts of charity and make for a successful relationship.
Yes, very much agree.:-).
ReplyDeleteI like best the last line: A lady is the morality of the world.
ReplyDeleteYes, me too!
ReplyDeleteI often told my daughters that Women are the civilizing force of the world. But, Oh, how often I fell short of being a lady without realizing that it is an ideal toward which to strive. There was a time when young ladies were reminded quite frequently by their mothers when they were not behaving in a ladylike fashion. Also the mother was a good model having been taught by HER mother. Manners was one of the ways one could detect the class and upbringing of a person, however since the revolutions of the 19th and 20th Century which brought an equalizing force to Western societies, breeding and manners fell by the wayside.
ReplyDeleteGreat points, alaughland! I think also we need to see being a lady as an imitation of Mary, in her meekness and humility, in her strength and courage and steadfastness.
ReplyDelete