It used to be that men refrained from using rough language in the presence of ladies.
Now many women use coarse language themselves. According to Becoming a Lady:
I know that peer pressure encourages us to use profanity. It is a form of verbal communion with each other, where we use keywords which represent various emotions and connect us as a group. I am aware of this need to become integrated in our close community, but I’m also aware that, as a lady, I seek to minimize offense that my ignorance might cause to other people.
Just as equally as there are groups who use profanity to connect, there are also groups who connect through the quality and cleanliness of their language. Therefore, this urge to connect with your peers also serves to disconnect you from those in the wider community. I can see no reasonable benefit to sacrificing your integration into society through choosing to isolate yourself into the group.
A woman who chooses not to swear can be assured of being comfortable around those of both persuasions (that is, the swearers and the non swearers) whilst a woman who is accustomed to swearing has isolated herself, and has depreciated her potential number of connections with other human beings. This seems pointless and self–defeating.
Saying goodbye to your days of profanity is as simple as understanding the group dynamics which begun your swear habits in the first place. You felt that using the same language integrated you with these people, but I hope that you can see that such a method of integration comes at too high a cost.
There is no need for you to continue swearing. You have nothing to prove to anybody and swearing is not an expression of freedom of speech, but is rather a handcuff binding you to a certain class of society.
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Image from The Graphics Fairy)
Now Madame, if Michael has said a bad word, just get the Ivory Soap.....you know the drill. Just drop that riding crop immediately (even if you do look smashing in this photo!)
ReplyDeleteThank you, it is a good likeness, I must admit....
ReplyDeleteI'd wager that there's swearing in just about all social classes, and social groups. How then does one isolate ones' self into a group if, on a large scale, it's "acceptable"? It's much more likely for the non-swearers to become isolated from the swearers for refusing to "go with the flow."
ReplyDeleteI also wouldn't say that people who don't swear can be assured of being comfortable around those who do. It's still going to bother some people.
Also, Just because people continue to swear doesn't mean they're trying to prove something to others, or to themselves. For some, it's just what they grew up hearing, so it's "normal" language to them.
That's probably true in many cases.
ReplyDelete