Monday, September 10, 2007

Living Together

It is rampant. Even some religious people live together before being married. Society imposes no sense of shame, except upon those who dare to speak out against such arrangements, by calling them "judgmental." I would not dare to judge anyone, but I reserve my right to refrain from showing approval for those living illicitly. If I were to ever fall into such a situation, I would hope someone would reprimand me or, at least, not cheer me on.

Some theologians are trying to make living together before marriage morally justifiable by invoking the medieval custom of betrothal. But the medieval betrothal was a very different thing from the modern way of shacking up after casually declaring an "engagement," as explained in an article from the New Oxford Review. Share

11 comments:

alaughland said...

With rape, incest, predators, death, taxes and the Federal government to worry about, I think I will leave this particular item in God's hands to deal with the individuals as He sees fit.

elena maria vidal said...

I agree, to a point. Unfortunately, too many authority figures have been silent on too many moral issues, deciding to let God handle it. But God has given us minds and voices to speak out about the truth.

elisa said...

Thanks for posting this--you've posted on the topic before a few times. I wonder if true commitment is understood any more.
Cohabition before marriage hurts the relationship is a message that needs to be said more. The divorce rate is high enough as it is.

elena maria vidal said...

Yes, Elisa, there are many statistics which show that those who co-habitate before marriage have a higher divorce rate-- because the relationship is based on pleasure and not upon commitment.

Mary said...

My parish church will not allow co-habitating couples to marry there. This has impacted many couples, since the church is much sought-after by brides from other parishes due to it's beauty. The wedding coordinater was even called "a Catholic Taliban."

mary rose said...

Its high time the church demands some standards. Two of my children who are in their 20's have got recently engaged and have chosen to get married before living together. I think this is because my husband and I would be very offended and would say so if they were to do otherwise. The church does need to be vocal in demanding that couples seperate if they are in this situation before accepting them for the Sacrament of Marriage.

alaughland said...

You are right, Elena, that we need to stand up to what is right. In the 60's my generation stood askance while the 'Baby Boomers' threw all morality to the winds, and nothing was said.

Julygirl said...

I have a friend whose daughter was co-habitating with a young man when they decided to marry in the Church. The parish priest insisted that they live apart before he would marry them.

Lisa said...

Fornication and concubinage are not unrelated to all the other ills in the world of the carnal type.

It's connected to contraceptive pills, abortion...pornography, divorce...and rape, incest and predators.

This are not disconnected issues. Immorality is immorality in all it's varying degrees.

Margaret said...

I think what it boils down to is the priests HAVE to start teaching, admonishing and instructing us. Period.

I have heard so many wonderful, flowery, affirming homilies that do nothing to convict, challenge, rebuke us where we are. We all have room to grow; we all need to improve.

How can we grow in holiness if no one is speaking the truth, confronting us where we are wrong, challenging the societal norms or warning us of spiritual dangers?

So many homilies are just one big Jesus is Barney group hug I love you you love me we're a happy family. WRONG!!! We are not a 'happy family' - there is a cancer of relativism in our world and our Church.

If all the millions of Catholics in our country were growing in holiness instead of following the world, our country would be a very different place.

I know that there are very faithful and vocal priests out there but they seem to be the exception, not the rule.

Dancing around issues and being overly concerned with hurting feelings is ridiculous. This obsession with 'pastoral sensitivity' is nothing but cowardice.

elena maria vidal said...

Good. I am glad that there are a few other people in the world who think the way I do on this issue.